This is the last one...

It's been a good 2 to 3 months that i've been blogging on this space. Who knows, I might just choose to make this my new online residence. Haha. I've come to grow fond of the hyperlink (constructivity) since that's what I probably need in my life now. Anyway that's beside the point. Moving on..



I guess I sidetracked a *little* from what I was supposed to blog about for the past 2 weeks. I guess it's time to put it back on track.



There are many forms of communication, such as writing and speaking, just to name a few. In the prehistoric ages, the cavemen used cave paintings to depict their way of life. The ancient Egyptians used their hieroglyphics to tell stories of grand kings who have passed on. Communication has since advanced much from those ages.



Communication styles differ from person to person. Surely one prefers a method of communication over another. For example, one may prefer expressing one's self through writing than in words, and thus he/she might use a preferred form of communication much more often than another. I am probably one of those kinds of people, since I don't speak as well as I write. I think i'm pretty self-conscious, and I always am afraid of saying the wrong things at the wrong time. For such cases, just shutting your mouth would be the most logical option, no? It doesn't mean that i'm autistic though. Lol. I like speaking just as much as writing, though i'm apparently better in the latter.

With the advancement of technology, people are now able to communicate without seeing each other, through the Internet. Mediums such as Facebook and instant messaging softwares are not uncommon nowadays. Many people actually find it easier to communicate through these new media. Which wouldn't be really that surprising, since the possible intimidating presence of another person you may be communicating with face-to-face, is eliminated. Still, nothing beats face-to-face communication. After all, what is communication without the human touch, right? :)

Sometimes face-to-face communication might produce negative results, though. One of the more hilarious ones i've encountered... A friend told me he lost his apetite, as he watched/listened to another one of his friends shouting "SHIOK!" non stop, while gobbling his food like a hungry ghost just set free from the gates of hell. Comical when you hear about it, but how would you feel if you were in my friend's shoes?

The point is, all forms of communications have flaws. We could probably choose a suitable style or form of communication, to better suit the times and places (kairos, was it?) that we are in. Effective communication is the way to building better human relationships.

Fear: Will you let it eat you alive?

Fear.

No, i'm not talking about the overhyped game franchise.

We don't need to be taught to fear something, so I guess it's a hardwired instinct in all of us. Heck, even primitive cavemen feared wooly mammoths and all the other whatnots.

But that's besides the point.

As I was saying, fear is an instinct. It triggers several reactions, when we see something that we are terrified of. These include, but are not limited to, escalated heart rate, heavy breathing, and perspiration.

However, I acknowledge that some fears are uncontrollable, no matter how hard you try. Even for myself. This could be due to a traumatic experience, such as a fear of water due to almost drowning, or it could really be innate. It could even be caused by our social circle, for all you know. Fear has many origins.

However, there is no shame in fearing something. It is, after all, the most primal emotion that has gotten humans thus far. I admit, I myself have many fears. But when properly conditioned, these fears can be turned into a form of motivation, a driving power to excel.

Let me share with you another one of my personal experiences.

When I was still a slave of nation *AHEM* I meant full-time national serviceman, I was assigned to the Singapore Civil Defence Force. I honestly, honestly admit that, before I enlisted, I used to fear blood. I used to fear the loss of lives. I was just like any other civilian walking down the street, I felt that I didn't have the capabilities to save a life, neither did I have the courage to shoulder that responsibility. The training administered to us, taught me to be more confident of my own abilities, to be able to think calmly in a crisis, to apply the most logical solutions to the situation. To save lives.

My fears were supressed. I was conditioned to save lives. True enough, I did attend to a few traffic accident cases, and successfully saved a few lives. Amazing how conditioning yourself to resist fear, can have such a different outcome, from not doing anything about it at all.

Will you let the inner beasts mutilate your defenseless self, or are you going to throw them back into their cages, and throw away the keys?

Eat humble pie once in a while. It's good for health.

In this world, there is nobody who isn't egoistic.

Humans don't need to learn to be egoistic. It is hard-wired in us, to be egoistic. Heck, even babies cry if attention isn't given to them, right? Egoism at its best.

True enough, there are some people who appear to be less egoistic, but it entirely depends on the individual. It could be family upbringing, possible, but not one's nature, for it has been explained above.

There are times when circumstances forbid someone to be egoistic. For example, when making a decision that can/will affect a large number of people. The decision maker will have to put everyone else's interest above his own, otherwise he would lose the respect of the group, and subsequently, the rights to making decisions for the group. That in itself, is egoism, no? To make decisions that seem fair to everyone, so the leader of the group, will remain the leader of the group. So much for altruism. It is but a false ideal, egoism in diguise.

Humans merely making use of other humans, to achieve their own goals and satisfy their needs. A sickening thought. This makes me believe, that the human race is a corrupt and hopeless one. Doomed for extinction.

Okay, maybe that was a *little bit of* extreme negativity. But it's just a personal point of view, that you don't need to subscribe to. :)

Conflict: Is it really necesary?

Conflict. It has existed throughout the years of humanity. It still exists now, primarily because it is in the blood, of we humans, the warmongers. It will still cary on its legacy, even when we are long gone, our flesh and bones returned to the earth. Not a very difficult concept to grasp.

I believe most ALL conflicts are started for selfish reasons. It is evident in our daily lives. A difference in concept leads to quarrels, with either party trying to enforce their ideas on the other. Now, I believe most people would say that it all boils down to making concessions, but how much leeway can you give someone? How do you define 'enough'? Ultimately, humans are narcissisic, egocentric beings, so I can safely assume, not much. Forgive me, for sounding so jaded about humanity.

Take for example, the recent Gulf War started by our dear former American president, Mr Bush. The reason for starting the war, at face value, was to combat terrorism. However, we all know otherwise. America is probably the world's largest consumer of crude oil. And Iraq i rich in crude oil. See the link?

This second example is on a personal level. I type the following part of this post with a heavy heart. For the last time I raised a conflict, it indirectly cost a friend his life.

It happened, close to two years ago, when I was still serving my national liabilities. Most people should be familiar with the term 'Sentry Duty'. A personal conflict arose between the Duty Orderly Sergeant (DOS - the bugger gave me 8 hours of sentry duty for the day.) and myself, so I deserted my sentry post in a fit of rage. I've never forgiven myself for doing that, till this day. Due to my selfish and thoughtless action, our book-out timing was delayed for almost two hours, with the supervisor giving a lecture on why we shouldn't desert the sentry post unnecessarily. Less than 4 hours after I got home, I received a phone call from a colleague, informing me that my fellow NSF was involved in a car accident on the way home.

Subsequently, he passed away, without waking up from his coma.

All that went on in my mind were "what if"s. What if I hadn't deserted my duties. He'd probably still be alive and well. What if I had been a little more accomodating? We probably wouldn't have had our book-out time delayed, and he probably wouldn't have met up with that fateful accident. Of course, all these, are just hypothetical. However, I still can't shake the fact off, that I was the indirect cause of his death.

To this day, I still think twice, thrice, four times even, whenever I feel that the anger is about to approach the limits. That one incident, is, and will forever be, a painful reminder to myself, branded onto the mind and soul.

I have the blood of an innocent on my hands. Will you risk the same thing, over a selfish reason?

On a side note, wish all my friends and classmates good luck for the coming mid terms! Let's all work hard together. :)

EXTRAS:

A comical, albeit vulgar video on how to handle conflict. :)

Valentine's Day: A day of love?

Just something interesting I heard from a friend...

"14th February, a day to suck lovers' blood dry."

If you go back and think about it, that statement does make sense. In my opinion, the contemporary Valentine's Day has had its original meaning, somewhat tainted. In the past, lovers used to write... Well... love notes... To each other, maybe with a bouquet of flowers, and some handmade confectionery. It was a simple affair, sincere, and close to the heart. Now, it is but a commercialised and overhyped event. Unscrupulous merchants make use of this day to viciously mark up the prices of their merchandise, anything ranging from confectionery, to flowers, to V-day cards. Everything's over-priced, on V-day. Even a plain, not-so-eye-catching rose can cost you anywhere from $15 to $20 a stalk. It's the day where all the posh restaurants are full house, with a mile-long queue of patrons. You wouldn't even be able to get a table if you didn't make a reservation a few days in advance. Okay, I exaggerate. But the main point, is that, such a romantic day, being exploited to such an extent... Just thinking about it, makes me sick.

V-day is the time of the year, where the ladies expect the guys to spend a little more time, money, and, more importantly, shower a little more love on them. Most people would probably think that nothing's wrong with it, V-day comes only once in a year, anyway. Some people actually have a misconception that the more money you spend on V-day, the more evident your love is for the significant other. However, I think it's the thought that counts. I'm sure any significant other would appreciate what his/her partner has done for him/her, no matter how insignificant the cost.

I think too much emphasis is placed on V-day itself. Any other day can be V-day, as long as love exists between a couple. I mean, why wait for V-day to express your love for the other party? You can easily say those 3 words to your loved one(s) any day of the year. That, I think, is much more romantic, rather than doing it on V-day itself.

Kinda similar, to Father' Day, or Mother's Day, no?

Extras:

This video kinda provides high entertainment value... Haha.

First impressions count?

"Don't judge a book by its cover", the saying goes. I always found it amusing, that such a wise saying, is always contradicted by the shallow mindset of people, in general. Just a disclaimer though, i'm not implying that i'm not guilty of judging by appearances. I admit, I sometimes do, (I'm very partial towards sharp facial features. Okay, i'm shallow.) but tell me, who isn't guilty of such?! It's only human to do so.

Generally, a stereotype is established in the minds of people, just by first appearances. Picture this; you were attending an important job interview, and you dressed down for such a formal event. Dressing sense might not really be what you are, but potential bosses tend to hire employees based on first impressions. A negative image of a sloppy worker should have already formed, by the time you knock on the door and enter the interview room.

First impressions, depending on the situation, may facilitate, or hamper your progress in human relations. Just a random fact: my current best friend and I were at loggerheads with each other for two years, during my upper secondary school life. I first thought of him as a sloppy person with his disheveled hair, and the snide tone of his words, suggested that he was quite the sarcastic. The mere sight of him irked me. This negative image persisted through the high school years, until, coincidentally, we were enrolled in the same junior college, and the same class at that. Oh well... Might as well make the best out of it, right? Then I discovered that he wasn't such a bad person after all. Had I been less shallow, i'd have earned myself a best friend much earlier, no?

A person's body language also contributes to how others may perceive him. For example, people can attribute certain behavioral patterns, from the way you walk. If you slouch, others tend to think that you lack self-esteem. Conversely, if you walk with a swagger, people will think that over-confidence is second nature to you. It's not easy to please people, is it...

First impressions count to some extent, in my honest opinion. However, we humans tend to judge by outer appearances, often, regrettably neglecting the personality(inner beauty), the bigger and more important aspect of a person.

So. Will you let personal prejudice get in your way, the next time you make a new, prospective lifetime buddy? You decide.

Extras:

As always, a video for your viewing pleasure. :D

Censorship: Good or Bad?

cen⋅sor –noun

an official who examines books, plays, news reports, motion pictures, radio and television programs, letters, cablegrams, etc., for the purpose of suppressing parts deemed objectionable on moral, political, military, or other grounds.

(Source: www.dictionary.com)

Censorship is a powerful tool, usually wielded by higher authority (*cough cough*). Simply put, through censorship, 'undesirable elements' are removed from various forms of communicative media, such that a politically correct, or 'censored' version, would be disseminated to the masses. Censorship goes a long way back. It is even mentioned in the Christian Bible, when Jeremiah's prophecy in the form of a scroll, was 'censored' by the royal family, because it would have been a cause for worry, had it been made known to the public. ("And it came to pass, that when Jehudi had read three or four leaves, he cut it with the penknife, and cast it into the fire that was on the hearth, until all the roll was consumed in the fire that was on the hearth" -Jeremiah 36:1–26)

To start, censorship should be imposed on a moderate level. It shouldn't be too rigid that people would term it 'oppression', nor shouldn't there be too much freedom of speech. In short, censorship is a grey area, there is no right or wrong. Strict censorship laws are imposed in Singapore. In the theatres, overly raunchy or violent scenes are cut from films, and over the radio, song lyrics containing expletives and profanities, are censored too.

Some people think that censorship kills creativity, but laws governing censorship differ from country to country. A film or advertisement banned in, say, China, may not necessarily be banned in America. Furthermore, media censorship protects the younger generation from corruption of mind, by reducing exposure to sex, drugs, and violence from movies or television.

In daily life, we ourselves, do some 'self-censoring'. Our choice of actions and words, at some point in life, would be chosen in such a way, such that damage to self is minimised. In a similar way, sensitive information concerning the nation is never divulged as well. This is to protect ourselves, so that potential aggressors will not be able to take advantage of any exposed weaknesses.

In a nutshell, censorship is important to a certain extent. Sure, certain information might be omitted, but everybody's entitled to have (and keep) their own dirty little secrets, aren't they?

Extras:

To thank you for your kind attention, here are some banned commercials I found whilst surfing http://youtube.com/ . Enjoy!